There's No Place Like Home

"There's no place like home" what new meaning that famous quote from the Wizard of Oz holds for us now. Finally, nearly 16 months since the fire, we are back!!! Thanks to my sweet friends and a plea on Facebook, we had tons of help moving, actually a few folks that we don't see too often have been checking in now and again just to see what the updates were and make sure we knew they "really did want to help us". So it was pretty fast and a little chaotic but we got it all here and though my "gals" did a great job unpacking the kitchen, and my sister flew in from Colorado to help me get organized, I do have a few boxes that need to be tended too - most of them in the craft room but one day soon creativity will be flowing in there, I'm sure of it!

Some FAQ's

"Is every thing "done", done?" No, but we don't mind have the workers here. In fact we may even miss them when they are gone. We have spent more time with them than some of our closets friends over the past few months

"How are Aidan's Fish?" Aidan's fish didn't survive long after the fire and many of the replacements did not survive the move from Dove Canyon BUT these newest fish seem to be doing great after transport.

"Has all your furniture arrived?" Yes and no. I only ordered furniture for the kitchen and family room and it's here. We have beds now we just have to figure out what we want in the other rooms. I think our ping-pong table will look great in the dining room for now.

"What do you like most about your house now?" Everything! There are things I love about every room and I can't really pick a favorite. You'll just have to come see for yourself.

"Does it feel like home?" Funny though everything is new (except the foundation) it still feels like home to us. It's so familiar in fact, that I keep trying to throw things away in the dishwasher - because that's where the trash can used to be, and I reach for light switches that have been re-located, the list goes on but it's not upsetting to me. Every time I find myself reverting to an "old habit", it makes me smile because I am reminded that I am finally home.

More progress

Wood floors went in the kids rooms, craft room and study today. Kitchen cabinets are still being installed and work on the banisters has begun. Also, decision has been made on family room sofa and chairs - now if I can just get them ordered, we'll at least have a place to sit when we move back in!

We're getting closer!

It's been two months since my last post and there has been a ton of progress on our house! It's really fun to go over and see the daily changes and I'm much relieved to find it feels familiar even though everything is new and all the finishes are all different. The stone flooring is finished, and much of the tile work is done. The kitchen, bath and linen cabinets are being installed and next week a template will be made for the counter tops. Most of the interior paint is finished as well, the kids each picked their own colors for their rooms and they really look great, but unfortunately we are having a hard time with the exterior color - in comparison to the issues we have had up to this point, it's no big deal, we'll get it worked out.

We did end up having to do more work in the front and back yards than we anticipated. It's a shame to think of the money we wasted keeping the plants alive and yard looking well to see it all get torn up either by heavy equipment or as things that needed to be replaced were exposed by the chain reaction caused by demo for new construction. It really is going to look like a new house when we are done, landscaping and all. I have always wondered what it would be like to live in a new home but this isn't exactly the way I had hoped to go about it.

We still don't have a firm move in date, end of May is all I know. My sister is coming out to help and has already booked her airline ticked so I hope it holds true - if not, I'll have to find another way to keep her busy ;) It may involve buying furniture as that is the one task I still haven't conquered. I have been "shopping" everyday for lighting fixtures, handles, knobs and pulls, toilets, sinks and plumbing fixtures but decided to take the week off to play with our friends that are visiting from Indiana for Spring break. I really do need to get back at it next week or we truly will be sitting on patio furniture and sleeping on air mattresses - which actually will still be wonderful since we will finally be home!

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Extravagant Love on Valentine's Day

What a weird week! I have heard that "anniversaries" of losses can creep up on you in unexpected ways and I suppose that the fact that our fire happened on such a commercialized date, Valentines Day, should have made it obvious to me that there will probable never be a time when the date would pass unnoticed. I really did not expect the emotions that have been triggered. It began last week during bible study when we were discussing "Extravagant Love". People recounted stories of receiving expensive gifts like cars and diamonds (both of which I have also received) but what came to my mind was the extravagant love expressed to us in the simplest of ways last year on Valentines Day...friends taking our horrific smelling clothes home with them to wash, clothes that really weren't even worth keepin in the first place...the woman we had never met that drove up from San Diego when she heard about us because she too had lost her home in a fire and she wanted to make sure there was someone there to tell us it really would be ok...friends that showed up that didn't know what to say or do but just wanted us to know they cared. The list is so long and the cost was so small (mostly just time) and yet the extravagance leaves me overwhelmed with emotion, even now, and inspired to try to love others in that same extravagant way. I think, unfortunately, this is one of those things, like motherhood, that you can't ever communicate to another person but once you have experienced it, you get it and it becomes a part of who you are forever.

So here we are a year later, on the one hand the memories are as vivid as if it happened yesterday and on the other hand it seems like it happened a lifetime ago. The big question now (right after "how's the house") is, "are you going to Big Bear?" It has been a tradition for years and the answer is, "Yes". Though, truth be told, I voted not to go. The kids and Mike are not ready to "throw away our tradition just because our house burned down". I don't know, it sounds like a good enough reason to me ;) The odds of it happening again are very slim but I worried that the memory of it would cause more pain than the event itself did. So we compromised, I agreed to go and they agreed to stay in a different place. But it seems that for as many things as I am in control of changing, there are things that are out of my control that are going to be exactly the same, so my attempt at complete avoidance has been thwarted, shucks! Oh well I guess I'll have to put my big girl (ski) pants on and deal with it head on.

As for the house, it's coming along great! the roof is on (sort of), windows and doors in, scratch coat of stucco on, interior walls taped and mudded. Next week the stucco will be complete and the other exterior finish work will begin. Our completion date is projected for sometime in May and we have started selecting interior finishes - soon we'll have to make some decisions on furniture too! Sounds fun but it is overwhelming though with an end in sight, it makes it much easier to carry on. Unfortunately, even at this late stage, we are not done battling with Allstate. The good news is we have learned how to do it better and remove the emotions from it...sort of ;) So while a lot has changed this year, a lot is still the same.

Here are a couple interior pictures for you to peek at. We'd love to give you a tour if you are in the neighborhood just make sure it's during the day because we still don't have any lights!

Happy Valentine's Day!!!

It's A New Dawn, It's A New Day!

Yay, 2009 is finally over! Don't get me wrong; I acknowledge life goes too fast, and when I look at my "big" kids, I often wish I could turn back the clock. Recently a friend had posted on her Facebook Status "What was the high and low of 2009 and why?" Mine were the same - our fire. Worst for obvious reasons and best because never before have we felt so loved by so many - and even many we never would have expected. Our Christmas tree was just one example - I packed up over 175 ornaments, they are all so special to us, because they represent more than decorations, they represent 175 relationships, each one chosen especially for us and none a surprise, of course we were surprised when we received them but accepted with a knowing nod - of course we'd get a Catalina ornament from our friends we've spent a weekend in September for nearly the past 10 years (wow, am I that old?) with, of course Mike would get a cigar ornament, Alyssa an Elvis, Aidan some fish/ing, some pugs, some Starbucks - of course, of course! I wish I could list them all but hopefully you've already seen the photos and you know...and if you know us, you weren't surprised either.

But 2009 is over. It's a new dawn, a new day and for us, that means a new house!!! The framing is done, the rough plumbing and electrical in, we have HVAC (the furnace is in a new location and should it catch fire and fall out of the ceiling, it will not cut us off from our kids). I have been busy trying to select tile and flooring as well as plumbing fixtures, and wishing I had a crystal ball to know if glass tile is going to be the glass block of the 2010's. But I don't really care, I like it, so I'm getting some. Good taste never goes out of style :)

Don't take this to mean we will be moving in any time soon. Many of these products have long lead times so we need to get them ordered which means furniture orders will be just around the corner. The completion date, well month, is May but we all know how that goes, so I'm just shooting for summer. The trick to this new era will be in remembering to "live" these next 6 months, not just wait for them to be over.

Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree....

...how lovely are the branches. Thank you to all our wonderful family and friends that joined us (despite the horrendous weather) for the ornament party. It was a huge success, 81 adults and 56 kids (not including us) came out to help us decorate our tree and share some Christmas Joy! It was POURING rain but we had guests from as far south as San Diego and as far north as L.A. Of course we missed those of you who were feeling under the weather or just not up to braving the storm, but since we hardly had a moment to visit, it's probably best

We had dancing, cookie decorating, puzzle making, visiting, eating and of course, tree trimming! Our tree is so gorgeous I don't ever want to take it down. Our landlord, Diego, came by to decorate it (with out ornaments) so it was spectacular before the party even began.

Below is a link where you can view some some photos. I asked each guest to fill out a card to let us know why they chose their particular ornament and am planning to make a scrap book. Unfortunately I didn't get any pics of the cookie decorating but if anyone has any (or others), please send them to me

We are all set for a great vacation and came up with a compromise that made the whole family happy, we are heading to Hawaii but will be back Christmas day. Hopefully when we return, the plywood for our new roof will be up and I'll have lots to report on construction progress.

Until then Mele Kalikimaka! (which means Merry Christmas in Hawaiian)

Click here for the pictures

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It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas!

December is here and lots of little elves have been showing up around the Reynolds' house and the places we frequent. Which, of course has lifted our spirits tremendously. I ended the month of November trying to shake the guilty feelings off. You see, I am embarrassed to admit that over the past couple weeks I have become painfully aware of just how important Christmas traditions had become to me. I think I have mentioned in the previous post, that I feel like God is often "setting me up" and this is no exception. I was already doubting my true motivation behind our traditions and then the message at church on Sunday talked about how traditions can become so routine that the meaning gets lost and then, as if that wasn't enough, yesterday at bible study, we talked about how traditions can often be created around a false truths in the first place. It seems that everywhere I turn, I am forced to think about tradtions but really I just want to escape them! I don't think I fall into either of those categories but, then again, a year ago I wouldn't have realized I fit into this category either. I have been on the other extreme, my traditions, though beautiful and well intentioned, had super-ceded the true meaning of Christmas.

For example, in a previous post, I mentioned how sad I was about losing my Nutcrackers. A couple friends had suggestions about where I could replace them but what I didn't write was that I was so sad that I had decided not to replace them at all for fear that pulling the new ones out would not bring me the same joy but only remind me of what I had lost. And then my mom called and said "there are 6 Nutcrackers on their way to you" since she was involved in the original purchase, I thought "OK, I'll take hers but no more".

Since then, I have been invited to several craft fairs and boutiques by well intentioned friends who have waaaay too much of their own Christmas decor but would love to live vicariously through me - I just couldn't do it. Walking in to stores and seeing Nutcrackers, Snow globes and Nativity sets (my favorite Christmas collections) didn't leave me feeling giddy as it had in years past but left me with a sinking feeling in my stomach. And, much like right after the fire when I would find my self standing in Target paralyzed, unable to make a simple purchase, I would walk out of the "Holiday department" empty handed.

The idea of purchasing decorations and ornaments was depressing to me, I wanted what I had or nothing at all! Decorating the tree would not be the same without reminiscing about where each ornament was purchased or who gave it to us, or how little the hands were at the time it was made. ***Here is some Stefanie Fire Trivia for you - during the last fires, someone asked, "if you had had the chance to be evacuated, what would you have taken?" I said "I would have died inside digging through Christmas boxes looking for the ornament Alyssa made at 4yrs old - a photo of her dressed as Mary in a Popsicle stick frame made to look like a stable and one Aidan had made in Kindergarten - his hand print in white paint around a blue glass bulb, the fingers were painted to look like snowmen. " Obviously I wouldn't have risked my life to get them, I'm sure they would rather have me than those ornaments (today anyway) but in hindsight I wish I had put one hand made item from each of my kids in our firesafe.*** OK, back to my confession, I did not want to have Christmas this year, I even convinced Mike that we should just go out of town for the Holiday.

The kids however, were not having it. They wanted a tree. Then I had an idea to have a Christmas party and ask each guest to bring us an ornament. It would be a great opportunity to thank all of our friends and family who have helped us out so much over the past 10 months and also help replace our ornaments in a more meaningful fashion (btw if you are reading this, you are invited - just RSVP). Just a couple days later the "miracle box" arrived on my porch and for the first time, the decorations, Nutcrackers included, didn't make me feel sad or angry, but loved and hopeful - that's how Christmas is supposed to feel! Of course, being the "feeler" that I am my emotions have swayed back and forth, but the highs get higher and the lows, not quite as low. It seems that just about the time I start to have a pity party for myself, something happens to show me that "new" doesn't necessarily mean bad. Yesterday at bible study I received ornaments, and other holiday decorations (Nutcrackers included) from my "table" of friends and I didn't have to pretend to be happy to recieve them, I truly was. Today I got a box of decorations from my mom, I didn't get through it all because I have some sort of stomach bug and it wasn't in reaction to items, though for the day, it made me regret having a party (how will I get ready if I'm sick?!). Tonight while I was convalescing, some "carolers" showed up in the courtyard.

I must admit I wasn't happy when I heard their joyful voices blasting Jingle Bells, my first thought was, "I don't want to get up" and my second was "I don't have anything to give them, maybe we should pretend we aren't home". But my conscience got the best of me so, I sent Alyssa to the door ;) She peeked out the window and was so excited to announce "It's all your friends". And then, even more embarrassing to admit, I thought "Really? They know I'm sick, why are they forcing Christmas on me, I told them I put up a tree isn't that enough?!" But they weren't here to be pushy and make me work, they were here to bring me soup and put up Christmas lights for us (we weren't supposed to be home but since I was sick, I cancelled our plans). I think Alyssa was the most excited to see them. She kept running in and out with updates and telling me how "cute" my friends were and how "sweet" of them it was. She said I should have reacted like the people on Extreme Home Makeover and walked out, put my hands over my face and started to scream and cry. Honestly, if I had been feeling well and come home and discovered it all decorated, like they had planned, I probably would have. But instead, I made hot chocolate for them and sipped 7-Up while I watched them work. And now, our courtyard is twinkling beautifully, we almost need sunglasses to sit out there!

This is one Christmas Tradition worth keeping, infact it's the original tradition - not the free Christmas Light Labor, though that would be a good one too - but, what at Terranova (our church) has become known as Incarnating Christ, or putting skin on Jesus. Simply put it means showing love to people in tangible ways. And boy do we feel loved!

Oh yeah, some of you may be wondering what's going on with the house. It really is a fascinating process. Slow though :( The framing is moving along, still just on the 1st floor. They had to bring a big X-ray machine out to X-ray the slab to see where the post-tension rods are so that they wouldn't hit them when they drilled in with the new footings. Deep trenches were dug around the house for those footings, and work has begun on plumbing and all that stuff that we won't see.

Here are a couple pictures for you. You can see straight through from the front yard to the back right now!

The first picture is from the front yard and the 2nd of the kitchen.

It's a miracle ;)

My experience with God has been that He is the master of the "set up" and today is just another example. I have been working on a talk for the women's bible study that I am in that is, in essence, about expecting miracles and I have experienced two in two days! Boy do I feel "set up".

Today's was brilliant timing - not that miracles usually happen at a bad time but, I had just finished writing my talk and was heading upstairs to take a shower when I noticed a red and green bin outside. So I went out to grab it, a little puzzled cuz there is no mail today and also because it would have been a strange package to arrive in the mail anyway. At first I thought maybe Mike had called someone to install Christmas Lights - but it seemed too early. So, I popped the lid off and guess what was inside...all sorts of Christmas goodies and a note. Apparently someone has been reading my blog and was touched by my nutcracker story so she (I'm assuming it was a she and guessing a group of she(s) - sorry guys but it doesn't seem like a guy thing to do especially when you consider the contents) put a bunch of stuff together to help us get started on replacing our Christmas stuff, there is wrapping items, baking items, ornaments, fuzzy socks, a mug, and, of course, some Nutcrackers.

Now you may say "that's no miracle, that's a random act of kindness" but in this day and age, when people often think of doing nice things but rarely actually do them, Random Acts of kindness are some of the biggest miracles of all!

Up, Down, All Around, Like a Roller Coaster...

Up, Down, All Around, Like a Roller Coaster. Remember that song by the Partridge Family, or was I the only one that had that album? Either way that's how it feels around here. We are excited to have the work started on our house (up) but I have strep throat and Aidan came home sick (down) And they are really going to town tearing down all the things our builder doesn't feel are appropriate to build on (all around). The "all around" is happy that we will have a structurally sound home but frustrated that Allstate didn't agree to it in the first place - ugh



Here are some pictures of the back of the house (you can see where stucco was removed to reveal more fire damage)

Oh I forgot to explain the first picture is of the 2nd story floor, or should I say, where it used to be. Our further frustration with Allstate has to do with our premium. Just when I came to terms with the fact that there is no way around continuing to pay our full premium on our structure (which is about 25% there) and full contents (which we no longer have) they sent us a letter stating they have increased it! So now we have to pay more to insure stuff that we don't even have! "Like a roller coaster, keeps going faster...."

But I am choosing to follow the example of a friend who is doing a JOY experiment and have decided to make today a good day remembering to "rejoice and be glad in the day the Lord has made" Psalm 118:24 - my translation. No singing with a sore throat though ;)

We're so excited!

Big news for the Reynolds'...Alyssa got her braces off AND they have officially started "construction" on our house. The quotation marks are a formality because before they can actually construct, they need to de-construct a little more. But either way, there is a fence up, a port-a-potty on site, and guys making noise with tools! We were beginning to think it would never happen but, alas, never say never!

Good News/Bad News

Wow two posts in two days. I'm excited to have an actual update this time!

I'll lead with the bad so I can end on a positive note...we got a letter from Allstate today indicating that after reviewing our information, now a second time, they are declining our request to have our cost of living re-reimbursement. They do not feel there have been any unreasonable delays. Mind you our fire was 8 months ago and we've been fighting with them this whole time! Don't fret, we are taking more steps, steps we were hoping to avoid but they really leave us with no choice.

Ok, now for the good news....drum roll please...our plans our out of the city! Woo Hoo!!! Fencing will go up next week and construction will finally begin. It feels so good to actually say that.

8 Months and Counting

Today marks 8months since our fire. I was hoping to have news of construction beginning but I don't :( and I didn't even take the time to find out why. My attitude has shifted from a position of questioning' "why not, how much longer?" to "I'm not surprised" Perhaps it's weather (did I mention it's raining, so much for all the mold being dried away) or perhaps it's other life circumstances that are contributing to my mood but I am beginning to move from eager expectation to dread of the coming months.

Yesterday I was in Target and saw some Nutcrackers on an end cap. My stomach dropped. We had quite a Nutcracker collection that was started by my now deceased grandfather when Aidan was a baby. Sure, I know how many we had and could certainly go to a store and buy the same amount in about the same sizes but one of my highlights of decorating for the holiday's was pulling them out, reminiscing about when we got each one, who had given it to us or why we purchased it. So, sure, they can be repurchased, but they can never be replaced. I know that isn't what Christmas is supposed to be about but I still feel it's a loss worth mourning and I worry the many other precious Christmas items that burned will be as well. Is that what I have to look forward to, months of mourning - ick!

I keep thinking I need to have a look at Job (the person/book, not the noun) I think of all he lost and how God replaced it; "blessing the latter part of his life even more than the first". Perhaps that will make me feel more encouraged...it certainly can't hurt.

"So what's going on with your house?"

That seems to be the most commonly asked question these days, with "are you just about ready to move back in?" a close second. Makes sense since we are reconnecting with so many people these days what with school, etc. starting up again. The answer in short is that about the only thing that is going on at our house is the Red Tag (declaring our home unsafe) is fading to pink - there's a photo for ya and if you scroll down to my Feb. photo album you can see see the tag used to be the same color as the tape holding up.

Yup, I'm sorry to say that now, 7 months, 2 weeks, and 3 days after our house burned down, we are still waiting to start construction. Here is a photo of what it looks like today, not much different from how it looked in April, dumpster and Porta-potty gone but still only 1/2 a house (less actually) The good news is that (to quote my April 10th post) Our Sunday Is Coming! We are waiting on some final permits from the city and once those are complete, construction the fence will go up, the pool will be tarped, and construction will start.

In the mean time we still have some fighting to do with Allstate with regards to our contents list and living expenses so keep praying for us, we sure need it! We are tired and weary but we're hangin in.

Back to school

School started today. This year Aidan (6th) and Alyssa (8th) are at the same school which is a huge relief to me :) They are both at Mission Hills Christian School for Jr High (can't believe Aidan is in Jr High and that Alyssa will be in High School next year!!!) Though Aidan was less than excited about wearing a uniform, as you can see, he looks very handsome AND he had a great day! BTW they both happened to pick the same color shirt today - they have white, blue, red and green to choose from.

We were disappointed not to be taking our traditional first day of school photo in front of our red door on our front porch. Aidan suggested we drive over to the house and take a pic. there but thought of taking a photo in front of our beat up front door with the scar from the axe used to break it down and the "red tag" that has been there so long it has now faded to pink, seemed too depressing to capture for all time on film - well even digitally.

I'm sure you are wondering where we are with our claim and re-build. The short answer is no where. Nothing is happening that we can see but our plans are currently being inspected by the city and when that is done, we can get bids to start construction. We still haven't settled our claim with Allstate but we are getting closer. I never would have imagined that nearly 7 months after our fire, we wouldn't be well into the rebuilding process. But I guess if nothing happens soon we can stage one heck of a haunted house there.

Baby Steps

Progress is being made, baby steps though they are. We met with our HOA and have received approval of our plans. Next step is the City of Mission Viejo. Hopefully they will like the plans as much as the architectural review board did. Of course we are taking these steps under the assumption that when it is time to build Allstate will be ready to write some checks.

We did hear from them today, though not with regards to our claim, they have dropped the suit against Lenox. It seems that there is no clear evidence that the furnace was the cause of the fire. I guess the cause will remain a mystery and while I am glad that we were spared the trauma of watching our house burn down, I sort of wish there was a CSI sort of re-creation that would give us some insight as to what exactly happened.

The Giving House

It has been a month since my last blog, can't really believe it, wish I had more to say. The good news is we received a call from someone at Allstate that had read this blog and was "appalled" she assured Mike that it isn't the way they do business and that they will make it right. Her phone call was followed by calls from our local adjusters who were, of course, very nice but we are still waiting...

In the mean time, plans for our new house are done and we meet with our HOA on Wed. for approval. Of course we had to follow standard procedure and get permission from our neighbors as if we were just remodeling. They laughed when I asked if they would "agree" to let us build. The next step is for the plans to go to the city and finally construction.

We had a great vacation in the Bahamas, I took tons of pictures, as promised in an earlier post. And we are enjoying our "vacation home" here in Mission Viejo. It's great to be so close to the lake and with a private beach no less! Mike and Aidan have been fishing and we have had fun entertaining friends here.

Also in a previous post I mentioned that I wanted to tell you about "The Giving House" we moved out of in Dove Canyon. Remember we had a friend who wasn't using it, even though it was fully furnished? So, when we moved out, he moved back in but with more furniture. And the house we are in now was fully furnished so we didn't need it either. But, he found out about another family who lost their home in a fire in San Clemente so he was able to donate the furniture to them! It reminded me of the book The Giving Tree; one of my childhood favorites. I joked that one day, they will be giving us windows from that house to take down on one of our Project Mexico trips.

Ok that's it! I'm anti-Allstate

We're in! We love the house (well the kids are in Montana but they'll love it when they get back) and I have a great post to write about the "Giving House" we moved out of but we received our claim payment amount for our contents list and I am so hoppin' mad I need to write about that just to get it off my chest, thanks for the free therapy :)

As you well know, it took us about 3 months to get our contents list together. We were required to list EVERY SINGLE THING in our house, what we paid for it and when we bought it. Clothes, socks, underwear, furniture, Christmas decorations, every dish, every hair brush, every bar of soap! And so we did. We gathered photos, looked items up on the Internet, spent time at stores, asked friends, etc., etc. Our list was specific and quite honestly heartbreaking to compile. It's one thing to say "everything is lost" and quite another to remember everything that was lost - not to mention assigning a value to things that were priceless - like my "99 Cents or a Million Dollar" post.

Never the less, we did what we were asked to do. And then we did it again when we were asked to do it a different way, and then a 3rd time when our adjuster suddenly remembered that she needed a postmark, not just the e-mail she had originally requested.

Now, I have tried to reserve judgement on Allstate. Certainly our experience with the "dwelling" has not gone well but I chalked it up to the adjuster. Now here we are with the contents adjuster and our experience is the same, maybe even worse! At least with the structure we were able to retain some framing and the foundation which must amount to something. Of our contents we were able to remove the things from three rooms ( the "office" and glassware from the kitchen and dining rooms) provided it wasn't damaged by smoke or water. I'd say we retained about 5% of our contents. In addition, we were under-insured - our list far exceeded our max - yet our replacement claim totals about 30% of our inventory list. So this number is both infuriating and suspicious, remember my post after the structure claim came in, it was about 30% as well....quite a coincidence don't you think?!

Now, I'm not really one for conspiracy theories but what I am supposed to think now? Percentage wise, both the contents and structure claims are scarily close. Is that the game; give them 30% of whatever they ask for? Or perhaps it's an effort to wear us down and wear us out. We have been out of our home for 4 and 1/2 months now and nothing is happening. If we didn't have any savings or support system, we'd we'd be broke and panicked. Or maybe it's a way to stress us out as we watch the clock tick-away at our living expenses. We only have a year and now 1/3 of it has been eaten up by busy work - OH WAIT...I didn't tell you...that list that took us soooooo long to prepare was completely disregarded. Here let me share a few of my favorites....

An original signed oil painting worth thousands of dollars - Allstate will replace it with a POSTER that cost $29.99 but not exactly cuz it's depreciated to $26.74.

Mikes $1,200 bullet proof vest, they'll cover it with a black striped vest from JC Penny's for $25.72 - that ought to stop a bullet.

The hand carved secretary desk from the 1800's (our most cherished piece of furniture), they'll pay for one just like it from Homedecorators.com at $29.25.

Ok, you get the idea and I am getting really mad so I think I'll stop there. My point is, we have paid them on time every month since we have been married (19 years this month!) under the assumption that when and if anything ever happened they would pay us. Especially since we had the Deluxe Premium Homeowners coverage. Obviously that is not the case. If I were you, and I had Allstate, I'd find some one more trustworthy to do business with.

We're Moving

If you missed the Year Long Vacation post, a few back, check it out, it explains what we're up to.

Make sure you check in with us for our new address before you mail anything :)

Eating My Words

Today, June 14th, marks 4 months since the fire. I'm not as surprised by how much time has passed as I am by my reaction to seeing some fire trucks in route earlier today. I was on my way to pick up Alyssa, who is officially a teenager now, when I saw a fire truck headed in the opposite direction, lights and sirens blazing. I hoped everything was OK and proceeded on my way. About a minute later, I saw a second, headed in the same direction. It occurred to me that that was likely how it had been with our fire, and my heart sank. I said a prayer for the family who was in distress, and hoped it was a false alarm.

As I continued on my way, I just couldn't shake the sadness that had overcome me. It made me wish I had cried when my house burned down. I flashed back to the drive down the hill from Big Bear. I remembered preparing myself to arrive calmly (I felt strangely calm about the whole thing) and then fall to my knees in hysterics when I walked through the charred remains of our house, like you see in the movies - but that isn't how it happened. I didn't cry. My friends cried. They told me I was in shock and that would explain why I wasn't crying. At the time I thought they were crazy. Certainly that is not how people in shock felt. They always looked so dazed and confused. I didn't feel either. I felt grateful. Not grateful that my house burned but grateful for all those things I have mentioned in earlier posts. But today I wished I had cried, I was certain that if I had cried then, I wouldn't feel like crying now.

When I arrived home I snuggled up to Mike who was watching a golf game on TV. And when he asked my what was wrong, all I could say was "I'm sad that my house burned down". I know it seemed strange to him but I didn't think my explanation would make it seem any clearer. "Really, still?" he asked. But the thing is, it's not the kind of thing that just goes away after a certain amount of time and there really isn't any way to anticipate what will conjure up feelings about it.

I have really been trying to "keep my chin up" and "get over it". I did not want to be one of those people who said "I will never be the same because _____ happened to me" I did not want to be defined by this fire. But what I realized today is that we are "forever changed" by lots of things and it doesn't have to be bad. For example, I am not the same person now that I was before I had kids, they changed me forever and I think I am better for it. I am growing and changing constantly, and that's a good thing. There are somethings that are markers, some would call them defining moments, and I supposed it's denial to pretend this period of my life wouldn't be one of them. So, here is yet another example of me eating my words and a caution to you, never say never:

I am changed forever by the events that surrounded my fire, yup I've said it, I will never be the same. BUT I am better for it because, I have a greater understanding of what it means to show love in tangible ways, I am more compassionate to those that are hurting, I realize that time may not heal all wounds and that the things that seem so important in one moment may not seem at all important in the next.

I think they are all important lessons that if I hadn't learned by now, I wouldn't have learned in enough time to make a difference in any one's life - including my own.

The waaaaaiiiiiting is the hardest part!

It's been two weeks and unfortunately we do not have much to report. Our move is scheduled for June 23rd. The good news is we get our old phone number back - woo hoo!

We have yet to hear back from Pro-Tech or Allstate on the revised bid for construction.

Our contents adjuster is on vacation this week and we really don't have any idea how long it will take her to go through our list, depreciate the items, and get back to us.

So we wait. Beleive me I'm as anxious for some news as you are!