It Is Finished

My list is done...one step closer to my year long vacation.

A Year Long Vacation

I wish I had news but we are still waiting and so, so must you. When I dropped Aidan off for his morning carpool on our street I wondered what it must be like for the poor neighbors. Our house sits there in disrepair (nice way to put it) with HUGE dumpster in the driveway, it's rather unsightly, to say the least, and it's been like that for about 3 months...and a week - if you were counting.

It seems that we are in this never ending holding pattern. I realized the other day that despite the fact that we are "carrying on" we really aren't living, we are just waiting. For example, despite the fact that we have attended family functions with relatives we don't often see and other special events, I haven't really taken any photos. The ones I have taken are mostly of our house or damaged items as support for our list. I wondered if it was somehow a subconscious effort to be able to later forget about this year - no photos, no proof. But I have decided instead to try to live this year as an adventure. It is a big year for us, I turned forty, Alyssa is turning 13 (on the 13th!) - those are milestones worth scrap booking and for this you need pictures. We are living in this "Grand" house that is certainly worth remembering. As are the everyday moments. One day I will want to remember what my precious kiddos looked like when they were 10 and 12 and how we looked before we were old and shriveled.

A good friend of mine gave me a great suggestion and I am going to take it. So here is my plan. In about 3 weeks we are moving to a new rental house near our house which will be much more convenient for us to monitor construction and is closer to our friends and general life. It's a gorgeous house with a walking path to a private beach on Lake Mission Viejo. It's fully furnished, not exactly our style but it feels like a hotel where we'd enjoy staying. So, I am going to use this time to try and complete the chores that are hanging over my head. Finish the dreaded list, sort through the last bits in the garage, etc. Then, once we move into the "lake house" I am going to pretend we are on vacation. Now don't take this to mean I am going to sit around and drink fruity beverages with little umbrellas in them for the next year (though this "new" house does lend itself well to that idea). I am going to use the time to create some great memories by approaching each day with watchful anticipation, and seizing the opportunities - after all people pay to come here for vacation so it shouldn't be too hard!

We put our lives on hold for too many things and we all know there is no guarantee how long we'll get so I don't want to waste any more time, 3 months was enough. I'm hoping that years from now when we look back we'll remember the year our house burned down as the best year of our lives.

Inappropriate Laughter

I believe there is a technical term for a phsychological condition where people respond inappropriately to their circumstances. For example they laugh when they should be crying and visa-versa. I think I may have experienced it last night when we were watching American Idol and this ad came on



Aidan siad "there were are" at the first disaster scene, which made me laugh followed by tears. I realized they were not the tears of joy that often accompany a good belly laugh. But they weren't tears of saddness really either. I guess they were more the tears you see when the reality of the severity of a circumstance actually sets in. Those people weren't like us, they were in the middle of a disaster - oh wait, so are we, and it really shouldn't be funny.

I wondered if someon had walked into the room at that moment and seen us all laughing together on the sofa, me with tears in my eyes, would they have noticed something different, maybe an akwardness.......or would it have sounded like an honest laugh? I guess it doesn't really matter, at least we were laughing, inappropriate as it may have been.

Sarcastic Eye Roll

Sorry it has taken so long for me to get this up but I am disappointed by the news I have to share which makes it a chore to write. The meeting Mike had on Tuesday went, not sure the word to use...better. The adjuster was not there (which I think was a good thing) and the person who is putting together the new quote was, at least, apologetic. He acknowledged the glaring omissions and errors and committed to creating the new bid himself.

He told Mike that while we will like the new bid better, it still won't be the number we are hoping for but not to be discouraged "that is just how the process works". He also encouraged us to get going on the architectural plans and permits as this process, that I have grown so fond of, will really continue until we move back in. :( I was hoping we would get to a number that was fair, they would write us a check and we would be done with them but I guess that's just not how it works.

So, we are meeting with an architect this week to get going on that part of it but will have to wait another 2 weeks for the revised bid. Good thing we aren't in any hurry (insert sarcastic eye roll)....

SERIOUSLY?!

Well, we finally got "our number" from the insurance company. SERIOUSLY?! We have less than 15% of our house remaining or 85%ish that needs to be rebuilt and they offered us about 30% of our policy. Mike went through the itemized list in shock. The price they gave us for the kitchen would not even replace the granite counter tops much less the appliances and cabinetry. When Mike spoke to the adjuster he muttered on something about the price actually being for re-setting the granite. Look at the picture of our kitchen here, what do you suppose they are going to re-set it on? Not to mention we don't have any to be re-set - it was declared a loss, by them and was discarded....

So, now the fun begins. As I'm sure you can imagine, we aren't going to take the money but we are going to fight for what we feel entitled to and have paid for for the past 19 years! Mike is meeting with the owner of the company who put the bid together - the man who actually wrote it up is no longer there - but he is out of town until next week so in the mean time, our house will sit, untouched for another week or so and we will put another tick mark under the "months our house sits" column.

The good news is my sister, Gracie, has been here working her little rear off. She has gone through the remaining boxes in the garage, most if it was just photographed and tossed. Some washed and re-packed for storage. And also the "scary closet" that had all my scrapbooking/craft stuff and organized it. Now I could actually scrap book - if I knew where my pictures were (and had my list done) does anyone remember who took them the day of the fire?

I am counting down the days still school ends which will also bring an end to the crazy driving schedule. And summer starts - hoping that a couple vacations will help make the time fly a little faster. And praying that Mike doesn't have a stroke cuz I need him to fight this fight for us.

Well, gotta get back to my contents list. Now I am a little anxious about what they will "offer" us so I am eager to get that process started as I am guessing it will be a long one too. But I am still looking up!

Looking Up

I wish I had something more to report now, it's been two weeks since my last post but we are still waiting, and our house is sitting, untouched. Funny, yesterday Alyssa's friends' mom asked if we were "all settled" now. The timing seemed ironic to me since at that moment I was washing some sooty items that had been sitting in the garage here preventing me from parking inside - resulting in a break-in of my car and loss of an iPod :( - I wondered if we would ever be settled and without really thinking about it I said "depends on what you mean by settled", "Moved back into your house" was her reply. Obviously she had no idea the extent of the damage the fire had done. From her perspective enough time had passed, and we should be all back to normal, and isn't everything really a matter of perspective?

At the rate we are going, I am beginning to wonder if we will ever be moved back in, in fact it's hard to imagine our house being rebuilt when it doesn't seem like the demo is ever going to be complete. I am heavy hearted. I lost a friend toa battle with cancer today, and another family that is dear to us is waging their own war with the same type of cancer right now, in fact they are at the hospital as I type - in ICU recovery. I have friends that have lost children and marriages, family members and loved ones, it's been quite a year and so it has been easier for me to keep my perspective during this frustrating time.

What I wish (beyond the obvious that there was no death, disease or destruction of relationships) is that my perspective wasn't so dependant on what was going on around me, or how it could be worse. But that my eyes were constantly fixed, looking up towards the heavenly realms, only seeing the good and true and pure (though I'm not sure they exist in the insurance industry- lol) in every situation, without it being relative to another.

So that's where I am now, I have been working on patience, perseverance, and endurance, these past few months, now I am adding perspective, trying to look up rather than around...I may need a little more help with this one ;)