December is here and lots of little elves have been showing up around the Reynolds' house and the places we frequent. Which, of course has lifted our spirits tremendously. I ended the month of November trying to shake the guilty feelings off. You see, I am embarrassed to admit that over the past couple weeks I have become painfully aware of just how important Christmas traditions had become to me. I think I have mentioned in the previous post, that I feel like God is often "setting me up" and this is no exception. I was already doubting my true motivation behind our traditions and then the message at church on Sunday talked about how traditions can become so routine that the meaning gets lost and then, as if that wasn't enough, yesterday at bible study, we talked about how traditions can often be created around a false truths in the first place. It seems that everywhere I turn, I am forced to think about tradtions but really I just want to escape them! I don't think I fall into either of those categories but, then again, a year ago I wouldn't have realized I fit into this category either. I have been on the other extreme, my traditions, though beautiful and well intentioned, had super-ceded the true meaning of Christmas.
For example, in a previous post, I mentioned how sad I was about losing my Nutcrackers. A couple friends had suggestions about where I could replace them but what I didn't write was that I was so sad that I had decided not to replace them at all for fear that pulling the new ones out would not bring me the same joy but only remind me of what I had lost. And then my mom called and said "there are 6 Nutcrackers on their way to you" since she was involved in the original purchase, I thought "OK, I'll take hers but no more".
Since then, I have been invited to several craft fairs and boutiques by well intentioned friends who have waaaay too much of their own Christmas decor but would love to live vicariously through me - I just couldn't do it. Walking in to stores and seeing Nutcrackers, Snow globes and Nativity sets (my favorite Christmas collections) didn't leave me feeling giddy as it had in years past but left me with a sinking feeling in my stomach. And, much like right after the fire when I would find my self standing in Target paralyzed, unable to make a simple purchase, I would walk out of the "Holiday department" empty handed.
The idea of purchasing decorations and ornaments was depressing to me, I wanted what I had or nothing at all! Decorating the tree would not be the same without reminiscing about where each ornament was purchased or who gave it to us, or how little the hands were at the time it was made. ***Here is some Stefanie Fire Trivia for you - during the last fires, someone asked, "if you had had the chance to be evacuated, what would you have taken?" I said "I would have died inside digging through Christmas boxes looking for the ornament Alyssa made at 4yrs old - a photo of her dressed as Mary in a Popsicle stick frame made to look like a stable and one Aidan had made in Kindergarten - his hand print in white paint around a blue glass bulb, the fingers were painted to look like snowmen. " Obviously I wouldn't have risked my life to get them, I'm sure they would rather have me than those ornaments (today anyway) but in hindsight I wish I had put one hand made item from each of my kids in our firesafe.*** OK, back to my confession, I did not want to have Christmas this year, I even convinced Mike that we should just go out of town for the Holiday.
The kids however, were not having it. They wanted a tree. Then I had an idea to have a Christmas party and ask each guest to bring us an ornament. It would be a great opportunity to thank all of our friends and family who have helped us out so much over the past 10 months and also help replace our ornaments in a more meaningful fashion (btw if you are reading this, you are invited - just RSVP). Just a couple days later the "miracle box" arrived on my porch and for the first time, the decorations, Nutcrackers included, didn't make me feel sad or angry, but loved and hopeful - that's how Christmas is supposed to feel! Of course, being the "feeler" that I am my emotions have swayed back and forth, but the highs get higher and the lows, not quite as low. It seems that just about the time I start to have a pity party for myself, something happens to show me that "new" doesn't necessarily mean bad. Yesterday at bible study I received ornaments, and other holiday decorations (Nutcrackers included) from my "table" of friends and I didn't have to pretend to be happy to recieve them, I truly was. Today I got a box of decorations from my mom, I didn't get through it all because I have some sort of stomach bug and it wasn't in reaction to items, though for the day, it made me regret having a party (how will I get ready if I'm sick?!). Tonight while I was convalescing, some "carolers" showed up in the courtyard.
I must admit I wasn't happy when I heard their joyful voices blasting Jingle Bells, my first thought was, "I don't want to get up" and my second was "I don't have anything to give them, maybe we should pretend we aren't home". But my conscience got the best of me so, I sent Alyssa to the door ;) She peeked out the window and was so excited to announce "It's all your friends". And then, even more embarrassing to admit, I thought "Really? They know I'm sick, why are they forcing Christmas on me, I told them I put up a tree isn't that enough?!" But they weren't here to be pushy and make me work, they were here to bring me soup and put up Christmas lights for us (we weren't supposed to be home but since I was sick, I cancelled our plans). I think Alyssa was the most excited to see them. She kept running in and out with updates and telling me how "cute" my friends were and how "sweet" of them it was. She said I should have reacted like the people on Extreme Home Makeover and walked out, put my hands over my face and started to scream and cry. Honestly, if I had been feeling well and come home and discovered it all decorated, like they had planned, I probably would have. But instead, I made hot chocolate for them and sipped 7-Up while I watched them work. And now, our courtyard is twinkling beautifully, we almost need sunglasses to sit out there!
This is one Christmas Tradition worth keeping, infact it's the original tradition - not the free Christmas Light Labor, though that would be a good one too - but, what at Terranova (our church) has become known as Incarnating Christ, or putting skin on Jesus. Simply put it means showing love to people in tangible ways. And boy do we feel loved!
Oh yeah, some of you may be wondering what's going on with the house. It really is a fascinating process. Slow though :( The framing is moving along, still just on the 1st floor. They had to bring a big X-ray machine out to X-ray the slab to see where the post-tension rods are so that they wouldn't hit them when they drilled in with the new footings. Deep trenches were dug around the house for those footings, and work has begun on plumbing and all that stuff that we won't see.
Here are a couple pictures for you. You can see straight through from the front yard to the back right now!
The first picture is from the front yard and the 2nd of the kitchen.
