It felt as if my house was being professionally looted today when I arrived. All of our stuff, that wasn't burned, just smoke damaged, was coming out when I pulled up to take the last few boxes that had been left in the garage by my "pushy" friends :) Inside all the furniture was gone. The guy who was draining our pool had asked Mike about the kitchen table and I guess Mike told him he could have it and anything else he wanted and apparently he wanted it all and some time this weekend he and some of his friends came and took it. It sort of felt like I had been violated and then it turned to a "If I can't have it, I don't want anyone else to have it either!" mentality. I just turned 40 but it felt more like I had just turned 4!
Somehow I imagined this moment differently. I thought I would feel relieved and encouraged - that the de-construction would feel like progress. It didn't. Maybe it would have felt different if I hadn't just sent my baby - who will be 11 on Friday - away to science camp for a week. Maybe if I hadn't just had several awkward conversations with people at school (who were also sending their children off) who were seeing me for the first time since "Valentines Day", them not knowing what to say to me and me not knowing how to respond. But I guess I'll never know, it was what it was and what it was, was uncomfortable.
By 3:30 when we went by to check the progress they were beginning demo on the 2nd floor (pictured above) and still removing debris. Tomorrow, our two story home will be a one story house with a heck of a sky light. Mike, Alyssa and I stood around and watched for a bit lamenting about the expense we had gone through a couple months ago to repair the roof which was being torn apart in front of our eyes. But the exercise proved worthy, from the ashes, emerged the famed vacation journal of Alyssa's that I had blogged about in an earlier post! Oddly enough, it is in perfect condition - also found were three pair of Mike's shoes that were melted together by the soles but this paper composition book was not even singed on the edges, go figure!
Two steps forward, one step back is how I have described our journey lately but today it seemed reversed. It felt like I started out the day taking big, giant steps backward but I think we are in forward motion now, thank God!
WOW-How great to find that special journal!!! I got tears in my eyes as I read that! Thank you for sharing this journey with us. I know many people read these updates but don't ever comment, but just know that you are loved by so many people. Forward is good.
ReplyDeleteI'm always here. Call if you need a shoulder to lean on. Mine's not super solid but it's available.
ReplyDeleteTrisha
I can only imagine how upsetting it must to wait so long for the demo to began. And having to pass your house everyday with the spring blossoms and green grass along side a wreck of a house. The care that You and Mike have given your house still shows in the landscape.
ReplyDeleteHow great that you can now move forward with the demo and rebuilding. The foundation to the new house will be loving memories of yesterday and years of happiness.
As difficult as it was to watch the second floor being demoed, the joy of recovering Alyssa's journal is what life is about. Little Blessings & Little Graces in a Harsh World.
Your concern for the neighbors is just who You are, considerate of others. Your neighbors are real nice folks patient.
Hang in there, the best is yet to come. Love Mom
This is the first I heard about the journal - awesome! Let me know if there is anything we can do to help make it all easier for you...
ReplyDeleteHey I just read this.
ReplyDeleteJames 1:2-4 (The Message)
Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.
Take all the steps you need too :) (don't know how to do a kiss)